I just got home from a long-ish day and had a bunch of heavy grocery bags on my person. I set them down and turn on a light only to see the worst sight ever - BUGS. 7-8 of them. Swarming. I actually didn't scream (odd), but dove for the ground and wondered what to do. I promptly shut the wide open window (which has no screen because my building takes the screens out for "winter"), then, sensing my imminent discomfort, turned on the AC.
As the light is now on, the swarm has donned tunics and started up a rousing Quidditch match using my torch lamp as a pitch. First I threw my flip flop into the fray but the only impact of that move was the lamp hitting the wall. Undeterred but sweating a lot (come on AC!) I went to the closet for safe haven/weaponry. I quickly unearthed the Raid Home and Garden and came back out to show those flies and possibly smaller flies (or another bug type) what I/Raid was made of.
Reassessing during the situation from the corner I realize that A. I have left them time to form a strategy and they are doing so, and B. I am not in a ventilated space (the only window has now been officially shut for the summer). Opening the door to the hallway is also out because I am definitely not wearing pants at this point. All I have left is to fashion a mask and face the mob, and so I did. Out of a kitchen towel and one of those skinny elastic headbands that never stay on my head.
After some wild spraying and jumping about I think I managed to end the lives of the 7-8 offenders. What I did not anticipate though is how nuts they would go as they went quietly into that good night, so while they are not buzzing around anymore, I have no idea where they have made their graves.
Which brings us back to live where I am sitting in the corner wondering who is going to come and locate/collect the bodies.
Sidenote: Photo is not a reenactment, I did stop and take it during the battle. Speaking of flying, I wonder if the bags under my eyes would qualify to fly free on SW? Also, groceries are still sitting on the floor near the scene.
2 Leave one:
AHAHAH. Fucking nature. I like to pause (Small Wonder style) life moments to take a picture.
I have used those skinny elastic headbands for giant rubberbands. Or hair ties or whatever Courtney calls them...
Call your maintenance guy that chats you up at every turn...he can be the body collector. Power of living in an apartment. Here I just hope the damn cat eats them.
I ended up in a full in Mexican Standoff with the one fly that remained after the Raid (pun fully intended), which lasted quite a spell. I stood at the door and tried to tell where the GD buzzing was coming from, all the while swinging my former mask all about to ensure that the enemy could not land on me. I finally killed it with a bath of poison, or so I thought.
1+ hour later when I went to sweep up the carcasses I found that the motherfucker was still alive. I, of course, noticed this while it was flinging itself around the dustpan in my hands. Needless to say, that guy is dead and I am unable to sleep in this cemetery!
Can I finally get that cat back? Been trying for so long...
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